This past week I spent 22 hours in the car with my parents driving to and from Muncie Indiana, as well as an additional 6 hours on the Ball State University campus for orientation. Of the total 28 hours spent with them, the f-bomb was dropped a total of 67 times. This means 2.4 f-bombs were said in a single hour. Additionally, a majority of those f-bombs came from my mother, and were directed towards my father. While some people might consider that language unhealthy, I simply call it love- because if it weren’t for their f-bombing I wouldn’t be here today and going to Ball State’s Orientation!
D-day: Day before the first day of orientation
Being as just about every student for orientation came from Indiana, coming from Minnesota, I was looked at as an exotic creature. However, I wasn’t just seen that way by the students. Checking into the dorm, one of the administrators asked me, “How’d a kid like you from Minnesota find out about Ball State?”
Just as I was about to respond, the guy got up and said, “Just hold on a second.” He must have talked to someone or something because he came back with a clipboard and a pen.
“I am pretty sure I was accepted, right?” I joked.
The guy awkwardly laughed before saying, “ Yeah just sign in here, we forgot to plug in the out of state kids in our orientation database.”
I looked down and saw only 12 other kids had come out of state. And not a single one from Minnesota.
As I got my key and stuff to stay over in the dorm the day before the first day of orientation, I couldn’t help but mumble under my breath, “If the school’s education is anything like it’s administration, to quote my mom, I am f#@$%$.”
“What’s that?” the administrative guy at the front desk asked
“Oh nothing,” I said as I walked up to my dorm room.
Day 1: Chirpin’ my way to College
Being as day 1 of orientation started at 8 am, I woke up at 6 to make sure I got to a shower. Also, since I hate feeling rushed as much as ‘out of touch old school journalists’ hate the internet, after hearing horror stories about how it can be impossible to get a shower, I made sure to wake up before everyone else. So after taking a shower, I got dressed, freshened up and did all that hygiene stuff we were taught as children.
As I walked with my parents to the building where we would be put into groups and receive name tags, it hit me that I was in bizaroworld. Whenever I over heard an opening conversation between two kids that had never met, it always started with, “Oh, where are you from in Indiana.” I soon found out nearly 90% of the kids were from in state. After receiving my name tag, I got into my student orientation group and met my orientation leader. His name was Chris. Right away I could tell he was really hyper active, out going, and loud, but in a good way.
Anyway following some icebreaker games and stuff, Chris brought us to this auditorium where we saw a presentation by the president or some other big head honcho, and found out the history of Ball State. Basically, early on the school went in and out of business like local coffee shops, but following World War 2 it got its act together, thanks to some donations by the Ball Brothers (really famous jar creators - seriously). Thanks to hem the school has been in business ever since and now finds itself in lists ranking them as one the top 10 rising schools in the nation. Some of their famous alum that matter to me our the following: David Letterman, the dude who created Garfield and Jason Whitlock, a sports columnist. And an example of one of their famous alums that do not matter me: the CEO of Burberry. (If you are like me, and hadn’t heard of Burberry, just ask a girl and they will start gushing like about)
After an interesting history lesson, we got a bunch of other presentations that were pretty boring, like one on financial aid, why their core curriculum is important, there food (which is awesome I might add) and other stuff. On a side note, a really cool presentation came from a dude from the technology department. I just loved it because it didn’t feel scripted. He basically broke every rule I was ever taught at SPA about how to give a presentation. Don’t mumble. He mumbled. Don’t laugh at your own jokes. He did. Don’t come without note cards. He came without note cards. It was just refreshing after sitting through 4 straight presentations where I could swear the people speaking were robots. On top of that it was a great presentation. It was humorous, entertaining and enlightening. Flat out - it was just a breath of fresh air to hear a presentation that didn’t sound formulaic and came from someone under the age of 40.
After that it was time for lunch. We were forced to eat in our orientation groups and I ended up sitting with a kid name Tyler, who like just about everyone else was from Indiana. I could tell he was a nice kid, even though he wasn’t very talkative. Nonetheless I was able to find out he wants to major in interior design, and yes he is straight (I know surprising, whenever you hear a dude say he is an interior designer you think he is Gay. But hey whatever. And now let the angry comments begin saying I am a horrible person for stereotyping male interior designers). He also wants to minor in historical Spanish art. So I guess that means, if you ever have Tyler decorate your house, it is going to have a ton of old paintings from Spain in it.
After lunch we headed back to the auditorium where we learned about athletics and school spirit. Ball State’s football team stunk last year, but they have new coach now, and are going through a rebuilding phase. Thankfully, in men’s basketball, the other sport I care about, campus is buzzing about BSU taking on Butler, because the Bull Dogs, are playing on Ball State campus. So, when you consider the Bull Dogs have lost all there key players and BSU didn’t and had a really successful year last year, and have home court advantage, I am expecting my Cardinals to beat up on the Bull Dogs so bad, PETA is gonna come protest on the Ball State campus. Anyway back to the blog. So basically at this assemble we found out students get in free to every home game, in every sport, just so long as they show their student ID (Awesome!). Also at the athletic/school spirit assembly we went over the school’s song and cheer. The school’s song is pretty simple and catchy. In between the tune of the band we yell, “GO BALLSTATE!!”Meanwhile, the team’s cheer, while sensible, is a little silly. Since we are the Cardinals, we put our thumb and index together to form a bird’s beak and then we say “chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp…” repeatedly picking up in volume and speed until we reach a chirping climax. Intimidating I know. While I could make fun of it I am not, because I am probably going to end up being one of those Cardinal fans chirping away in The Nest (the student section) alongside Charlie Cardinal.
Once we were done chirping to our hearts content, we were taken to a different building to take test, which would tell us what kind of student we are, and our study habits. I am not gonna post word for word what I found out – that is personal private information, but I will tell you this: I basically found out what I already knew: I only have a good attitude towards classes I like and find interesting, that being said I am extremely motivated and diligent towards doing daily assignments in all my classes well and correctly, I do an above average job managing my time, and I worry about my classes in the math’s and sciences, I have highly developed skills in paying attention ( I am pretty sure all thanks to Adderall), even so, just because I do a good job listening I don’t always understand what I am hearing and occasionally have a difficult time retaining information- specifically in the natural sciences and math, I do a pretty job selecting main ideas and recognizing important information, I do an excellent job using support techniques and materials, that being said I need assistant in self testing, reviewing and preparing for classes, that being, despite for faults in that area, I have adequately developed skills in test strategies and preparing for tests. So there now you know what kind of student I am.
Once you finished taking a test that told you what kind of student you are, it was time to take a language placement test. Or if you are like me, you got a break. In the brochure it said you are suppose to take a language placement test if you have studied Spanish, Chinese, German or French in high school. And while I had studied German up until my junior year, I wasn’t gonna take that stinkin’ test. I hadn’t studied language in TWO YEARS! The only thing I know how to say is the following: ich spiele basketball und ich bin nicht sehr gut. Which translates to: I play basketball and I am not very good. So instead of wasting my time taking an hour-long test I would surely fail and find out I had the German language skills of a fetus in lederhosen, I got an hour-long break.
I am going to fast foreword through my break and dinner, because nothing really interesting happened. Anyway after dinner we got back into our orientation groups and got a tour of the campus. Half way through the tour we sat in circle and talked as a group about what were nervous about and what we most excited about. It was mandatory we answer the question, but one the high lights came from this kid who said, “ I am excited about the parties, but I am nervous about getting kicked out.” Anyway when I came around I said, “ I am excited about using the top notch facilities in the David Letterman Building. (Then not to look like a total nerd) oh and the parties. But I am nervous about that two-week period where I don’t know anyone and when I am introduced to people, unless they say Indianapolis, I won’t know what city they are talking about.”
And then nobody laughed. And it wasn’t because they didn’t laugh because the joke wasn’t funny, they didn’t laugh because they were offended. To them, a no good northern Yankee just insulted all the little small towns in Indiana. And they were obviously pissed. To defend myself I wanted to say, “The only town in Indiana I have heard of besides Indianapolis, is thanks to Larry Bird, and I can’t even say it without laughing a little bit inside: Frenchlick!” But I decided it would be in my best interest not to say anything, especially that. Anyway, as the circle continued, I overheard a kid say I am gonna drop out of college and join the army. And then my brain exploded because of that comment. DOESN’T IT GO THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!!! DON’T YOU JOING THE ARMY, AND THEN GO TO COLLEGE!!! But hey, who am I to judge a kid from Muncie Indiana. If he wants to join the Army, be my guest. I just think his way about doing it, is a bit odd.
After the talking circle, we finished the tour at the student center where we had a pizza party and bowling. Soon after I left and went back to my dorm to go to bed where the Ball State administration made up for all their gaffs, when I found out for orientation I didn’t have a roommate. How f-bombing awesome is that?!?!
Day 2: Flash mobs aren’t refreshing like Gays and polite people
After freshening up, we had take our luggage down and check out of the dorms. As I was exiting my room, I saw Tyler, the kid I ate lunch with the day before.
“Good morning,” I said.
“Good morning,” he said, “hey, check this out, I found this secret staircase during my nightly wandering that gets you down to the desk really quick.”
“Oh, um cool.” I replied.
“ Yeah, I am really into the paranormal and stuff. And I heard that some of the dorms here are haunted so I wanted to investigate for myself.”
“And are they?” I asked.
“Not this one.” He said. And then out of the blue he picked up my suitcase and carried it down the stair case for me. Why? I don’t know. I mean he is an interior designer, but he is a straight. But even if he was Gay, what kind of Gay guy would hit on me? One that is attracted to the Pillsbury Dough Boy, or Louie Anderson celebrity look a likes. Anyway it was really nice of Tyler to do what he did. After I checked out I caught up with my group, where we were taken to another builder take another test, about what we thought of Ball State. The test was easy and stuff, and it was for their administrative purposes. Anyway after that were split up into groups, and took a tour in the Job center and Wellness center. The job center was pretty boring, but the Wellness center was pretty refreshing simply because I saw my first gay person in forever. When we entered the center we met this guy in his office and then he talked to us and asked us questions. If we answered you got a cup in the color of your choice, either, blue, yellow, red or green. Or to quote him, “sapphire, canary, ruby or emerald!!!” I didn’t a get cup, but nonetheless, it was very entertaining to hear a person call a red plastic cup a ruby.
Soon later, I met with my freshman academic advisor where I set up my class schedule. Many people dislike my schedule, but I like it because it is like high school. I hate change, so I wanted something similar to it. So everyday I have a class at 8 am and everyday I am done with classes between 2 and 3 pm. Some people think I am crazy for doing that, but I like it. And hey it is my schedule not yours. After setting up my schedule it was time for lunch. During lunch I found out my parents used my graduation money to buy me a Mac Book Pro. Which was really cool. Also, after eating lunch my mom and I went to the BSU Book Store where we bought some Cardinal Gear.
Once we finished up at the book store it was time for the orientation closing assembly. During this assembly we saw a cool little video of the two day of orientation and got our student cards as well as the book we have to read for school (yes I have a summer reading book, and no I am not starting elementary school. But whatever I don’t really mind it.) And then worst thing happened, the orientation leaders thought it would be cute to perform a flash mob. It was the most uncomfortable 5 minutes of my life. I hate flash mobs. There is nothing good about them. All they do is make the people aren’t them feel bad and left out. And all that it does for the people performing in them is tell the viewers that they are unemployed. They are so stupid. Call me party pooper and a negative Nancy, but I hate flash mobs. They are just stupid.
Anyway, orientation was now over. We soon left and started driving back to Minnesota. I can’t wait for college and I am really excited about Ball State… except for that two-week period where I don’t know anyone and when I am introduced to people, unless they say Indianapolis, I won’t know what city they are talking about.
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